Feast on a Platter

If you come to Colombia, a Colombian might ask you to do a strange thing. Don’t do it. Use your better judgment! Let me lay out a scenario for you.

It’s a Saturday afternoon and I’m walking to my friend’s apartment building to meet up so we can stroll downtown. As I turn up his street, I notice something twitching in the middle of the road 25 yards ahead. I pensively tilt my head and try to make heads or tails of it. Nothing.  Upon approaching I notice it is a bird that is wounded. I don’t know if it was hit, if it ran into a window or if some ninja street cat swiped it out of the air. All I know is that it’s laying there flopping a wing every once in a while. It made me sad.

This Colombia man was standing at his balcony 2 floors up and starts telling me something in Spanish and motioning to the bird. He killed the bird!? Yes. That must be what he is saying. He was trying to tell me he was an airsoft gun extraordinaire with incredible marksmanship. Okay, that’s not what he was saying. But what he was telling me to do was just as bizarre. “Niña, go pick up the bird and get it off the street.”

Really man? Really? Yes. He motioned again and told me it needed to get off the street so it doesn’t get hit by a car. Seriously bro, the birds going to die. But this man was persistent. I couldn’t just walk by him and ignore his request. I had thrown out that option when I had made initial eye contact. Fail. So, what do I do? I inch my way towards the bird and see the blood. How the heck do I explain to this frantic man that I am in no way touching that thing.  I look at him, charading fear the best I could, “There’s a lot of blood. A lot of blood. I can’t touch it” Then, I continued walking.

So, the next passerby came and you’ll never believe it: Balcony Man actually convinced the man walking by to pick up the bird. Yes. The pedestrian walked up to it, took his bare hands, lifted up the limp bird, and placed him on a ledge nearby. Woot woot. Bird saved? I smiled a little on the inside. Because the bird was safe? Naw... Balcony Man just served our street cats a feast on a platter.