The Cleaning Lady Comes to Town

 Well here we go, another surprise in Colombia. A pleasantly peculiar surprise, but a surprise none the less. Something that is incredible common here (at least in the upper class) is to have a maid to clean the house. My apartment is pretty small and I keep it fairly clean, but I decided to give the maid a go. I’m certain her income probably dropped when the other foreign teachers left, so for 30,000 ($15) I figured, what the heck, let’s help a lady out.

Her name is Maria. I’m fairly certain she cannot write and is probably uneducated, but that’s okay. She left me a simple note: “Limpiaranos, gracias, Maria” She wanted me to know that she cleaned…as if I couldn’t tell. She also dotted all of her i’s with hearts. That made me smile. I hope to meet her someday.

Well I got home late from school yesterday and after a long day decided to take the elevator up the 4 floors. I usually take the stairs, but yesterday I was just lazy…oh wait, today I was too. Tomorrow I will resume my use of the stairs...maybe. Anyways, I got off the elevator, turned right, took the next right and was blasted with the smell of bleach. Hm, I bet they cleaned the floors today? Then I opened my door to a chlorine gas chamber. The smell had seeped into the halls. Whew. Must. Get. To. Windows. Must. Ventilate. Before. Passing. Out. I made it to the window, swung it open and then looked around. The place was spotless.

I decided to explore my quaint apartment and to my surprise found that Maria had gone above and beyond what any cleaning lady should do. Here we go:

First- the living room: she rearranged my furniture. I had put everything against the walls and to be honest it looked quite drab. Maria put them at unique angles, moved my end tables around, shuffled my chairs, and wa-bam – my apartment looked like it had undergone a flip. Maria even took care to put my decorative pillow on my couch with the corner gently folded. It was so ascetically pleasing. I was grinning like an idiot.

Second – the kitchen: I made my way to the kitchen and found several surprises. I opened the refrigerator and found a container of spaghetti+tuna+hard-boiled egg+ketchup. It was an awfully nice gesture, but I was saving the spaghetti for one of my teacher friends and had bought the tuna for a specific recipe. Oh well, I guess she thought I could use some help int he cooking department. My refrigerator is empty. What a kind lady. For real. She also rearranged what few things I have in my refrigerator. It looked perfectly bare, but perfect none the less. Then I opened the freezer compartment of my fridge. It had needed a good defrosting and I was just waiting for it to get worse before tackling the job. No need to do it now, in the time Maria was here, she did it for me. She also emptied and re-filled my icecube trays. Awesome. Alright, now we move to the cupboards. She organized all my food, moved my cups, and made sure everything was perfectly in line. Next I opened the 3 drawers in my kitchen. The second drawer down had been my utensil (spatula, peeler, measuring cups, etc.) drawer and I had been meaning to move everything to the top drawer. Yet again, something I don’t have to do: Maria must have read my mind!

At this point I have been giggling consistently for 2 minutes. It gets better.

Third – Laundry area: In the laundry area I keep my supermarket bags and cleaning supplies. Maria took every single plastic bag and folded it into a perfect triangle. Seriously, this woman is incredibly detail orientated.  As for the cleaning supplies, I lifted up the bottle of bleach and realized she used ¾ of it. I found the cause of the chlorine gas chamber. It’s alright though – I just won’t buy any more for next time she comes! She also ironed my pants that had been hanging to dry. Good thing, because I suck at ironing.  (Side story: Last week I put on a shirt, looked in the mirror and decided it needed to be ironed. I took it off, felt like an adult, and waited for the iron to heat up. I did the job, put the shirt back on, rechecked myself in the mirror and realized it didn’t look like I did a thing. I paused, thought about it for a moment, and decided, heck with it – I’m going to school. I’m not QUITE a real life adult yet.)

Fourth – my bedroom: So I peeked in all my drawers and I’m fairly certain that she refolded everything. She also organized all my shoes, perfectly placed them on my shelves and folded my sweaters. I didn’t think they needed to be, but Maria must have wanted to pass some more time. My bed was also flawlessly made and I liked how it looked so much that I duplicated it (or as closely as I could) this morning. Thank you Maria – these little things just make me smile. Oh yeah, one more thing: I have chapstick, eye drops, glasses cleaner and my cell phone on the side table to my bed. Maria carefully lined them up so they made a straight line.  Another thing that brought me joy.

Fifth – the bathroom: Alright, I’m impressed by the bathroom. Every single towel was precisely folded, she rearranged my soap/shampoo to line up perfectly, and she took care to make sure I had as much counter space as possible (even making my toothpaste stand on end.) It looked like it could have been on a commercial of cleaning supplies. The whole sparkle and everything!

So despite the ample use of bleach, I am incredibly impressed with Maria. I wish each of you reading this could come home to my apartment after she has cleaned. I'd invite you over for scones if I could only get my oven working! None-the-less, a clean home is a great feeling after a long day. Maria, wherever you may be - Thank you!